Phrases which may accidently offend these with a brain injury – Jumbledbrain

Phrases which may accidently offend these with a brain injury – Jumbledbrain

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Dwelling within the twenty first century means we’re all slowly changing into extra conscious of we’re all completely different and that ought to be celebrated. Together with that, we’re extra often being reminded to not simply assume issues about others and to bear in mind that we are able to accidently offend folks if we do. For instance, I dwell with my associate. That time period says nothing concerning the gender of the individual I share a house with, subsequently if that was the one info you had you wouldn’t be capable of inform what my sexuality is. A lot of you who’ve been studying my blogs for some time will know that his identify is James and so with which you could deduce that I’m heterosexual, which I’m, or you may nonetheless assume I could possibly be bisexual.

However there are issues that we use to explain our expertise of brain injury and different power diseases which resonate with us, however they may not have such a optimistic impact on the following individual. I’m not suggesting we begin tip toeing round one another and create a environment the place everybody turns into scared to say something for worry of upsetting another person. Quite I need to assist us recognise that there could also be occasions when one in all these phrases, expressed with good intensions, may get a response that was completely different than hoped for. If we perceive why somebody’s emotions are opposite to our personal we are able to nonetheless show our compassion by going again and providing and various to acknowledge their emotions. 

After assembly some individuals who stated a couple of phrases made them uncomfortable that I personally had by no means realised earlier than may problematic, I requested the brain injury and power sickness group to fill me in on others that may really feel jarring to them. As well as, I requested for various phrases that we are able to use too.

Phrases which will be annoying and different choices you should utilize.

SURVIVOR – These of us who’ve lived by way of an occasion which was life threatening could select to check with ourselves as a survivor (I actually do.) Nonetheless, coping with the struggles of a brain injury don’t cease there. Adjusting to how that has modified their life and left them with persevering with challenges will be completely overwhelming. An individual can really feel like which are drowning and barely surviving. Due to this fact to name them a survivor can really feel like their present struggles are being simply brushed beneath the carpet. 

Various – “[enter persons name] lives with a brain injury.” This phrase doesn’t add any optimistic assumptions to it and is extra “matter of reality”. It permits house for the individual to resolve if they need categorical any feelings abut their private circumstance.

SPECIAL NEEDS – While it is a time period that’s in most locations thought-about politically appropriate, it may possibly really feel awkward for some. Typically the phrase “particular” comes with assumptions comparable to VIP which on this circumstance it doesn’t imply. For some folks it may possibly really feel like which are saying they need to be handled like they’re a star or one thing, when actually they need to be handled like everybody else simply with sure alterations which assist them which their challenges.

Various – Requires excessive assist or medically challenged. This makes it clear that it’s highlighting it’s a medical challenge to concentrate on, moderately than somebody who desires to be handled like a Princess.

DISABLED – The mere indisputable fact that the prefix “dis” is used to imply reverse of, not, take away or reverse can instantly really feel unfavourable. It will possibly depart folks feeling like they’re lower than an able-bodied individual. There may be nonetheless stigma connected to it which society is just simply began the attempt to take away. I’ve stated earlier than how I personally wrestle with figuring out as disabled, though I’m beginning to embrace it a little bit extra now.

Various – In a different way abled or challenged. These phrases have a tendency to advertise extra open mindedness about that may be moderately than instantly simply conjuring up pictures for an individual in a wheelchair. Plus it acknowledges that the individual CAN nonetheless do the duty, simply that they could do it differently than the following individual.

SUPERHERO/HERO – These labels are supplied with affection, however some folks don’t join with them.  They’ll really feel cartoonish in some instances, making us consider characters who’ve superhuman powers and energy. that may depart a way that the continued struggles of the individual is being diminished. 

Various –  “[enter persons] lives with a brain injury. You possibly can go on to go with them for a way laborious they’ve labored at their restoration if you would like, however nonetheless depart house to recognise their struggles will not be over and typically they don’t really feel robust.

PATIENT – This time period is just appropriate when the individual is a consumer of a medical practise. Some individuals are nice utilizing it exterior of this setting, however for others in will be too scientific and dehumanizing.

Various – By phrasing it with the individuals identify first; “[enter name] lives with a brain injury, you might be giving them their identification as an individual first.

STROKE OR BRAIN INJURY VICTIM – Sadly, significantly for many who have had a stroke, this phrase has traditionally been used rather a lot. Individuals don’t need to be victimised so this time period will be offensive.

Various – “[enter persons name] had a stroke.

THRIVER – One other time period which is meant to go with the individual for a way they look like coping nicely with their situation. But it surely’s one other one that may overlook the pressure that the individual goes by way of.

Various – “[enter persons name] lives with a brain injury.” I do know I’m repeating the identical factor over once more, nevertheless it’s essential to not assume something about what day-to-day life appears like for an individual.

SUFFERER – This instantly sounds unfavourable and implies that the individual desires your sympathy.  Empathy is nice, however we don’t want sympathy. The latter passes judgement and solely presents understanding out of your perspective. It makes it sound such as you’re suggesting the individuals place is terrible.

Various – “[enter name] lives with a brain injury… I believe you’re getting the thought now.

NEW NORMAL – Many use this to explain their standing that they’ve needed to alter to. Nonetheless, not everybody likes it due to the phrase “regular”. It implies that all the pieces is ok and issues will likely be going easily any further.

Various – Day-to-day standing means what an individual may expertise frequently nevertheless it doesn’t say something about how normal or uncommon this is perhaps.

DISORDER – While this phrase is utilized in medical phrases comparable to PTSD, it may possibly make the individual appears like they’ve executed one thing mistaken. One individual described it to me as; “Dysfunction for me implies that I’m doing issues intentionally out of the norm. I’m simply doing issues the perfect that I can given my situation and discovered reactions from comparable conditions.”

Various – To cut back the sense that the the individual is wilfully misbehaving, because the phrase “dysfunction” does, the phrase “response” comes throughout as much less emotionally charged and purely factual.

RESILIENT – This phrase is used to mirror the truth that the individual has to place in further effort every day to have the ability to put up with the challenges their situation presents them. But it surely’s not a battle they need to be in, and what’s their various? Due to this fact not everybody desires this characterisation as a result of they actually don’t really feel like they’re doing far more that surviving.

Various – Recognise that going through their challenges isn’t a alternative for them and settle for that they’re simply doing what they need to do to get by.

BRAVE – Within the weblog put up, I’m not strong or brave, I didn’t choose this brain injury , I outlined why I don’t like being referred to as courageous. Once more this phrase could make it sound like there’s a alternative if you end up residing with a brain injury. To be courageous typically means selecting to sort out one thing that the following individual can be afraid to. Nonetheless, we’re simply taking part in the hand we have been dealt.

Various – Simply empathise by letting them clarify what their expertise is like, in the event that they need to. 

WHEELCHAIR BOUND – That is an ableist time period which means the individual ought to be pitied. As one individual put it to me, “this wheelchair is what provides me my freedom”, which is a very completely different perspective.

Various – Wheelchair consumer.

JOURNEY – Many people, myself included, have used this phrase when referring to our lives since our brain injury in our pursuit of restoration. However for many who have a degenerative  or terminal situation it may be distressing because it suggesting you might be aiming for a vacation spot, and for them that may solely be loss of life.

Various – It may be extra delicate to check with it as navigating their situation.

“BUT LOOK HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME” – While that is uttered as a pat on the again it may possibly make the individual really feel like they need to be “content material” with their present place. This may sound like you might be saying they shouldn’t complain and simply be grateful of the progress they’ve made.

Various – It nice to spotlight the individuals progress, however discuss to them about how they really feel about it and what they see as coming subsequent for them. They could really feel that they’ll anticipate issues to proceed to enhance with the appropriate assist, or they may not. Don’t assume something.

I hope this helps us higher perceive every others factors of view. Once more I need to be clear that individuals don’t should be so involved that they dodge speaking to somebody who has and brain injury to keep away from saying the mistaken factor. In the event that they discover one thing didn’t land proper with them simply ask them why and hopefully these options will enable you to say the identical factor in a means that feels extra acceptable to them.

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